So, after a year full of bullshit challenges and nerve-wracking situations, it was finally time for my mid-year review. Everyone in my company fears awaits this moment as it is very likely that pain, tears and humilliation something good will come out of it. Or that’s what the lazy bitches nice ladies of Human Resources said. Yeah, right.
Me, being such an awesome motherfucker employee, did not have anything to fear, right? Yes, the shit has hit the fan more times than Chris Brown has hit Rihanna, and that is a fucking lot of times. It didn’t matter, however, because I had told that bitch my boss that I was leaving and that there was nothing she could do about it. So, yeah. I was feeling pretty damn confident. Oh, boy, was I wrong!
Turns out it doesn’t matter that I am single-handling key accounts amounting to half of my business unit’s revenue, doing my job perfectly in spite of my shitty ever-so-lovely clients and even doing my boss’s job. Oh, no. Apparently, I also need to be proactive. Excuse me? Does my boss really think that her being cc’d on one or two e-mails every five months count as working? Bitch, please. The shit I just took is a more effective manager than her and it doesn’t stink. So that’s two points for it and none for her.
I tried not to beat the living crap out of her get heated up by her remarks and decided to focus on what mattered instead. I innocently asked her to define “being proactive” so that I could improve and become a better person and one day win the Miss Universe beauty pageant and wish for world peace and the successful mating of the pandas. Yes, those are my dreams. Anyway, the following is an accurate representation of her trying to define ‘Being proactive’:
“I… hmmm… I don’t know like when you… for example, if you… I mean, you’re doing great but sometimes… maybe if you could… let’s say that I… OK, I don’t know how to put this into words, but seriously, you need to be more proactive, you know what I mean? It’s not just about doing your work perfect, it’s more like… well, you know, like… well, anyway, moving on to other things…”
This is what I have to put up with everyday.
Dafuq?
