Dead By Daylight

You can’t escape death, but it’s hilarious.

OK, so I don’t necessarily consider myself a gamer. Sure, I enjoy Mario Kart and Super Smash Bros. as much as the next person, but that’s usually where I draw the line. I usually find games requiring a lot of strategy, grinding, or complex controls too obnoxious for my simple button-smashing approach. I mean, why invest so much time on that when I could, I don’t know, learn how to change a light bulb?

Note: I don’t know how to change a light bulb either, but that’s beside the point.

Moreover, I don’t play games for the sake off playing games; I play games with one objective in mind: Screwing everyone else up. I mean, why win when you can just make everyone else lose?

Oh, yes. It is me who actively ends up in last place on Mario Kart and blasts blue shell after blue shell. Even better, throw that thunder right when they’re about to hit a ramp and watch them all fall down to their doom. I’m not saying I’m chaotic evil, but I’m also not not saying that. It is what it is.

That being said, I recently started playing Dead by Daylight on Steam and all I can say is: WHERE HAD YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE, GIRL?

It is the most amazing game ever (completely biased opinion, no facts or numbers to support it). For those not in the know, it’s an online multiplayer game where you either take on the role of 1 of 4 survivors or the killer. I tried being the killer at first but, against all odds, I am just a psycho in writing, not so much in video games. I was so bad at it that instead of humiliating myself further, I switched to being a survivor.

As a survivor, the point of the game is very simple: Don’t get killed, and you know, just like in real life, it’s not fucking easy at all.

At least in the game you get an increasing heartbeat sound when danger is near, contrary to real life. Only God knows how helpful it would be to hear a warning when you’re completely wasted and about to send that risky text, or when you’re about to talk shit about Susan from the office, not knowing that she is listening right around the corner. Not that any of these things has ever happened to me, of course, but just imagine the possibilities.

Anyway, much to my surprise, I soon realized that I sucked at surviving too. I guess it shouldn’t be that shocking considering I don’t know how to change a light bulb and that sometimes I forget to remove the utensils from the plate before putting it in the microwave. I was appalled.

However, in my quest for survival, I also realized I could use the other survivors to my advantage. It is beyond hilarious to be chased by the killer and lead them to where other survivors are hiding, or block the survivors’ attempts at escaping by placing obstacles in front of them. The game emphasizes teamwork so, in a way, I’m just doing what they want me to do. Either way, I’m wining and laughing my ass off at the same time, so I’m pretty satisfied.

All that being said, I sleep very peacefully at night but with the door bolted, just in case.

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