Elite Season 2

It’s Marissa Cooper’s and Annelise Keating’s handicapped baby.

I finished watching the second season of Elite, and I have some thoughts about it. I had entirely forgotten the existence of this show, and honestly, I could have gladly lived my life without ever thinking about it. But here we are now.

If I had to describe this show in one sentence, I would say it’s an utter piece of shit The O.C. meets How To Get Away With Murder on steroids. There are many things wrong with this show, but the worst one is that there will be a third season. Seriously, why? Hasn’t Spain done enough damage to the world already? Wasn’t the massacre of all pre-Columbian cultures in Latin America enough? Did they really need to extend their reign of terror to all Netflix account holders? These are the questions that keep me up at night.

Luckily for you, I put up with all 8 episodes of the show so you don’t have to. Buckle up, folks, as I walk you through this mess of a season by analyzing the lack of character development of the main cast. You’re welcome.

1. Nadia

Can we please stop using the oppressed-Muslim-girl-who-changes-herself-for-a-white-guy trope? I’m all up for female liberation, but Nadia did not need to be liberated from Islam or her family’s traditions because she was not a slave of either of them and actually abode to them of her own free will. When will Western society understand that being sexually liberated is not a synonym of female empowerment, just like drinking, doing drugs, becoming a hoe, and not wearing a hijab, all for the sake of making a white man jealous, is not what feminism is about?

Girl, for someone who’s an academic genius, you certainly skipped the class where they discussed how all the white man brings is trouble. Please spend more time reading your History book and less time fucking Guzman in the locker room.

2. Omar and Ander

Very much in line with his sister’s fight to reach Western-approved liberation standards, Omar goes from being the repressed gay Muslim teenager cliché to getting ready to audition for a spot in the next RuPaul’s Drag Race season. Do we really need to watch in cringe as Omar becomes a flamboyant homosexual, wearing clothes from Elton John’s wardrobe and adopting the gay speak lingo? Couldn’t the writers be content with just showing two gay teens in a relationship without falling in all the stereotypes that continuously damage the LGBT movement?

Of course this becomes a source of drama because of Ander’s internalized homophobia. To be fair, I would also be upset if the masc straight-acting top I had landed suddenly decided to wear makeup, stockings, heels, and started calling me ‘Sis’. I actually shuddered just thinking about this.

The one thing I liked is that they are having safe sex. Then again, all the straight couples are fucking each other left, right, and center with not even a condom in sight. Is the show implying that gays should put on condoms because of STD’s but straights will be just fine? Because HIV infections are increasing among straight people, not gay, so the writers might want to look into that before implying the gays are the ones at risk.

3. Guzman

Oh, God. Who’s the inspiration for this character, Patrick Bateman? What’s up with all the pent-up anger? Fine, his sister was murdered, but Nano is already behind bars, what else does he want? Seriously, how come no one is freaked out by his rage outbursts? I would expect this school, as prestigious and bougie as they paint it to be, to have staff capable of handling this kind of situation, or at the very least send him to therapy asap.

He spends his time getting completely shitfaced (or high, depending on the day), and sending Nadia mixed signals when he’s not on a murderous spree of his own. I remember how annoying Marina was last season, but this guy went above and beyond. Maybe it runs in the family, maybe it’s Maybelline.

4. Lu

Oh, boy, where do I even begin with this one? First of all, can she just drop the Regina George act? The writers clearly watched Mean Girls more than a few times when creating her character – there are actually quite a few references to scenes and comments the original ‘Mean Girl’ makes in the movie, but delivered in a lame, obnoxious, and forced way by Lu. We really need characters to stop being bitches just for the sake of being bitches, or at least show the audience what hurt them so much to behave like this in the first place.

As if things weren’t bad already, we found out that Lu is literally fucking her half-brother. I actually puked in my mouth when they first mentioned it, and then I puked on my lap, couch, feet, and cat when they both justify it as, “Oh, it’s cool because we’re actually only half-siblings! lol.” I’m sorry, what? I thought this show was based in Spain, not Alabama.

5. Carla

The writers really stepped outside of their comfort zone when writing her. I mean, a sexy, rich, cunning ice queen who manipulates every man she lays eyes upon through sex? What’s next, florals? For spring? Groundbreaking.

Leaving aside all the flaws implied and derived from the above, what is really annoying is constantly having to remind myself she’s only 16. In fact, all of the main characters are, can’t they fucking act like it for once? How in the world is it real for this young woman to be drinking sophisticated cocktails in chic bars by the minute while having meaningful conversations about building a future with Samuel?

For fuck’s sake, I’m 32 and all my friends and I talk about is the dicking we got the night before while sipping cheap vodka sodas in a dive bar. And, yes, we all went to private schools full of kids of top level politicians and presidents. Really, Gretchen, stop trying to make this completely unbelievable character happen. It’s never going to happen.

6. Samuel

For someone who’s looking for revenge Count of Monte Cristo style, this guy gets sidetracked very easily. He ends up falling in love with Carla – who he knows is behind the murder of the girl he loved, has put his own brother in jail, and also nearly killed his best friend – and actually looking forward to cooking Mac n’ Cheese for her.

I mean, weird flex and all, but it’s all cool as long as he still tries to solve the mystery behind Marina’s death, right? Yeah, no. He literally receives a voice message from Polo in episode 3, confessing to the crime and he does nothing with that. Instead he becomes a drug dealer and fakes his own death to prove Carla and Polo are guilty of Marina’s murder.

For a person who got a full scholarship in Spain’s top school because of his intellect, he’s really not that smart.

7. Polo

I don’t know what’s more disturbing, the fact that he’s a sociopath and not at all remorseful about killing Marina, or that he makes a pass on every male character the moment he sees an opening. I kind of felt like I had stopped watching Elite and had accidentally switched to Jeffrey Dahmer, The Early Years. That being said, Polo is totally hot, so he can Ted Bundy me whenever he wants to.

In conclusion, the main plot and individual story lines are beyond absurd, and the characters are completely unbelievable. Sadly, for all the wokeness Elite is trying to portray, it is still victim of the horrible tropes and clichés we have seen in mainstream media time after time, and that are frankly offensive.

Elite must correct its portrayal of women as it is borderline misogynist, each character being either a vixen, a bitch, or a prude, but all of them using sex as a means to an end. Furthermore, it needs to stop representing minorities as seen through the eyes of the majority, and especially avoid perpetuating the Western delusion of white men bringing liberation to Muslims. In doing so, the show might actually stand a chance of being something other than a waste of time.

Rating 2/5
Pros: There is a lot of eye candy to keep the audience entertained for a while.
Cons: There is not enough eye candy to make up for the flawed plot and one-dimensional characters. Misogynist portrayal of female characters. Stereotypical minority representation does more harm than it does good.

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