The Quarter-Life Crisis

How to know if you’re going through one.

I came across one list on BuzzFeed that was actually not about cats. I know, right? I should had bought a lottery ticket because it was obviously my lucky day. Oh, well. So, anyway, this list was about the quarter-life crisis.

Wait, what? So this actually exists? I thought I was just bullshitting when I told anyone willing to listen my friends and family about it. Well, more like about me going through it.

Without further ado, here’s the list:

1. You’ve been daydreaming about doing something crazy.

You mean, like quitting my job and taking a plane to Johannesburg to volunteer in a wildlife protection program for the next two months? Yeah, I’m doing that in May. Or perhaps it refers to me going to grad school in September? Both plans are pretty damn crazy, especially according to my parents who are obviously paying for everything.

2. … but you feel paralyzed by indecision.

Of course, because I can either go to Paris, to Atlanta or to Montreal to pursue my MBA studies and I have no fucking clue of where to go. I’m very scared that either option might not bring me the fulfillment I’m looking for.

3. You feel increasingly nostalgic for your high school and college days.

Exactly. Because there was no problem that couldn’t be solved by pulling an all-nighter to write that essay one should had written two weeks earlier. That and also being with my friends on a daily basis with no worries other than not getting incredibly plastered and dying in a car accident. Those were the days.

Also, I’m pretty sure that if I were in high school, I wouldn’t had had such a bad time preparing for the GMAT, but that’s a whole other story.

4. The idea of making a budget terrifies you.

Can’t really relate to that one. I’m actually pretty good with my money, and I’m even better spending others’ money.

5. You’re starting to think of your dating life differently.

So, I want to get married – big surprise, right? – and, as you may have noticed from previous posts, my boyfriend of 9 years and me are not really seeing eye to eye on this. Then again, we have been together for so long that I’m just too lazy to try and move on to something better. I don’t really see myself jumping from one bed to another (although I could) at my age. I rather put that energy to good use and get through a marathon of my favorite series.

6. You have a sudden, intense fear of failure.

I was accepted to all the MBA programs I applied to. I should be incredibly happy and proud of myself, but I am not. I have no idea how to achieve my goals because I am not even sure of what my goals are. What if I fail at whatever the hell I am supposed to do after grad school? Oh, God. Sometimes I wish I were less ambitious to just let myself go with the flow. Life would be so much easier without all this decision-making!

7. You’re bored with your friends.

I wouldn’t say ‘Bored’, but they’re not particularly fun anymore.

8. You constantly compare yourself to your friends who are your age…

And they’re already getting fucking married or even having children and me? Well, I’m just getting drunk or high, depending on the day.

9. …or your parents when THEY were your age.

They were married, had bought a house and had me… and they were already on their way to start a company worth millions of dollars. What have I done so far? Well, it’s not like I’m completely useless, you see? For instance, I remembered to feed my cat today. Oh! And I caught 6 new Pokémon too! Man, I’m on fire!

This is probably why my parents decided to take me out of their will.

10. You feel like your twenties aren’t turning out how you expected they would.

Where’s my huge-ass wedding ring and my yacht in the French Riviera?

Seriously? Don’t even get me started on this one.

The only thing that makes this quarter-life crisis list a bit easier to digest (if possible) is the fact that it is on BuzzFeed. That must mean that there are dozens of people going through the same existential crisis I am. Of course that doesn’t make it any easier for me.

On a second thought, perhaps it wasn’t my lucky day at all.

Cat pictures make everything better… for a while at least.

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