The Rain Episode 1 Recap

I should have done something better with my time, like laundry.

OK, so I don’t even know where to start. I decided to watch this show because Netflix’s algorithm fucked up big time recommended it. I had just finished watching Dark, and I’m usually a sucker for YA dystopian stories. Bear in mind that by pursuing said passion, I have been exposed to many, many, many horrible shows (I’m looking at you 100), so I didn’t have high expectations. In hindsight, that was actually a good idea.

It starts with this girl at school. The first 10 minutes of the show were a bit confusing and I didn’t understand much but then I realized they were speaking in Dutch and had forgotten to put the subtitles on. OMG, I’m so random. Anyway, the girl’s father gets her ass out of school and puts her in the car where her mom and little brother are already waiting. It all gets very weird with flashbacks of the brother being sick (I’m having my own flashbacks of reading The Maze Runner and lost my will to live again) and somehow he gets better after he gets vaccinated.

Science 1 – Anti-vaxxers 0

Oh, wait. The stupid child can’t put his seat belt on and is acting retarded. I guess anti-vaxxers were right: vaccines can fuck children up.

Cue to the dad yelling more while driving at a crazy speed on the highway while there’s some shit about the rain (OMG, is that why the show is called The Rain?) and dead people everywhere blasting on the car’s radio. Oh, no! Eyes on the road, dad, eyes on the fucking road!

OK, so they’ve just crashed. There’s a huge ass trailer truck flipped over. No explosions though, kind of a let down. The dad loses it and they start running towards the forest where there is a very conveniently located bunker awaiting them.

Oh, the dad needs to go out to save the world or something. Apparently, that’s Dutch for “Honey, I’m going to the store to buy cigarettes”, because the guy never comes back. Just like my dad.

Suddenly there’s banging on the door and the stupid children (both of them were vaccinated, clearly) run to open it against their mom’s advice. Of course it’s not their dad, it’s some rando who immediately grabs the little brother and tries to pull him outside. I honestly hadn’t seen this much abuse of a young boy since Leaving Neverland.

The mom does the heroic shit and protects her retarded son, but ends up getting soaked in the process. Then she starts throwing up and convulses like crazy – who wrote this shit, the same guy that did The Exorcist?

The siblings lock themselves inside and spend the next five years just, you know, hanging. Oh, yeah, there’s also a radio but other than receiving a weird message about pickup centers for survivors, it doesn’t tell us much more. So, anyway, five years have passed. Luckily their absent father was probably one of those apocalypse preppers (or, you know, a regular hoarder) or something because he left them enough water, food, and even seeds to plant a nice garden. Meanwhile, here I am not being able to buy more than one pack of toilet paper without my boyfriend freaking the fuck out about storage space.

I’m mind blown at how the retarded brother grows up into a kind of hot twink with anger management issues, whereas the sister just looks as old and saggy as she looked at the beginning of the episode. Wasn’t she in high school? Why does she look like she’s been around for 200 years?

OK, so the food is finally running out and they need to make a move, so she comes out of the bunker in the middle of the night and follows the signs to the nearest pickup center. For some reason she’s having flashbacks again and I’m wondering where my life went wrong, so basically it was all pretty angsty for everyone involved.

Oh, there’s a wolf and it’s chasing her!

Oh, she escapes. Well, damn.

So the morning after they decide to leave the bunker and just as they’re about to, they are intercepted by a group of rogue survivors pointing guns at them. Remind me again: Is this The Netherlands or America?

This is the end of the first episode. I can’t promise I will write a recap for every episode, mainly because I will most likely drop the show, so don’t expect too much from me. Again, just like my dad.

Rating 1/5
Pros: It’s in Dutch so at least I can pretend I’m deep and cultured when I complain about it.
Cons: This story has been done a hundred times before and gives off serious Maze Runner vibes. That’s definitely not a good thing. Also, aren’t Dutchies supposed to be hot?

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